Essentials of Inner Child Work (Healing the Inner Child)

What is Inner Child Work

The most common misconception about inner child work, is that there is only ONE inner child. The fact is, that we are chock full of dozens, if not hundreds of inner children. It is called inner child work, because we are working with fragments of the childhood psyche – little versions of you; younger versions of you (your real lived memories), that are trapped in their unhealed states.

These split offs, or inner children, react to your present moment as if they are you here and now. So if you are aware of daily life moments, when your reactions, emotions, thoughts, and beliefs do not seem to match the situation (they feel too intense, or inappropriate); this is a good sign that an unhealed inner child is acting on your behalf.

When you “over-react” – you’ve done nothing wrong and no amount of will power and bulldozing will fix this – it is simply a call to heal from an inner child.

When Should you do Inner Child Work?

Inner child healing is called for when our reactions, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions do not seem to match “here-and-now” situations. If your reactions to everyday stressors seem inappropriate, this is a sign that a wounded inner child has been activated.

The healing process allows us to revisit these unhealed states, and to resolve the energetic imprint of the memory, restore our authentic identity, and heal the emotional wound, and restore blocked resources. This is called “integration” – when the inner child is integrated back into your “Big Self”. This gives a sense of peace and resolution in real life, because the inner child has been healed and the trigger resolved.

Inner Child Work and Healing Depression

Although depression looks like a disease (state of disease) of being slowed down – research on the physiology of people suffering with depression shows elevated states of physiological stress. In other words, the body of somebody with depression is in chronic fight-or-flight. When completed well, Inner child work will de-activate the fight-or-flight responses that have remained in place from the time of childhood wounding and in cases of cPTSD.

Inner Child Work and Healing Anxiety

Anxiety can be the result of suppressed memory (the energy of unwanted memories trying to resurface in order to be healed). Wounded inner children (or unhealed childhood memories) are often subconscious – only the emotions, triggers, and stress is on the obvious surface. If you have explored many strategies to manage anxiety (for example grounding techniques for anxiety, breathing techniques for anxiety, medication for anxiety, mindfulness for anxiety) and yet have not found any long term or satisfying relief from anxiety – I strongly recommend exploring the possibility of inner child work as a healing therapy for anxiety.

Are all Triggers and Emotional Blocks from Childhood?

Inner child work is the lowest hanging fruit when it comes to healing triggers and resolving emotional blocks. In many cases however, childhood wounding is a mirror of past life and incarnational wounding and unhealed trauma of our ancestors. This information is carried in cellular memory, the auric bodies, the soul, and in the etheric structures of bodily organs like the cerebellum for example.

Intergenerational Trauma

If we cannot heal our wounds, we adapt to them. This means that many family members carry wounds to which they have adapted rather than healed. Certain behaviours, beliefs, reactions, and unspoken rules within families are created on the foundations of unhealed trauma. Most trauma goes undetected, because cPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder, or developmental trauma) is the result of a pile-up of unhealed childhood experiences. Action as well as inaction can result in an emotional wound; and many adults who express signs of depression and anxiety are actually carriers of real lived and unhealed, unrecognized, childhood pains. These adults raise children with the adaption of their wounding, and corresponding with epigenetic research – you can consider up to 7 generations back as the limit of transfer.

Incarnational (Karmic) Trauma and Wounds

The soul is also a carrier of memory of previous and simultaneous incarnation. Although our perspective can feel limited, the subconscious is a limitless carrier of information, including downloads from the Soul. If you are experiencing a pattern and cycle of unwanted reactivity, unwanted relationships or relationship styles, or unwanted themes (for example – being misunderstood, thwarted, rejected…) in your life – this is a sign of unhealed incarnational memory. There is a key and a lesson for your spiritual evolution in healing these wounds. Childhood will always mirror the intentions of the soul’s healing because the soul has been there (in most cases) from day 1. I have experienced many client sessions where inner child healing process, can break through into incarnational memory healing. This transition is usually decided by the soul.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Inner Child Work

Although methods like CBT for cPTSD, can be helpful to address unwanted thoughts when they arise, CBT is not enough to heal the inner child completely. The unwanted thoughts, beliefs, and mindsets are not caused by the thoughts that CBT targets. They are caused by the memory of emotional wounds and key decisions made at the time of wounding. CBT is therefore a useful tool on the path of healing, but is not a complete solution.

The Best way to do Inner Child Healing (How do you heal the Inner Child?)

Inner child work is best practiced with a combination of psychotherapeutic work, guided inner journeying, and energy healing by a competent professional. Guided inner journeying is the best form of inner child healing. This process allows you to successfully integrate the fragmented inner children, clear triggers, and restore the missing resources that have been suppressed by the wounding; which puts the fears, triggers, and insecurities to rest.

Psychodynamic Psychotherapy for Inner Child Healing (Shadow Work)

A safe conversation with a well trained listener can provide insight, emotional support, and deeper understanding of oneself which leads to feelings of confidence, resolution, and inner peace. Psychodynamic psychotherapy helps you to understand and heal hidden memories, which otherwise would control and filter your behaviour and reality. Many present days emotions, beliefs, and actions that we want to change are rooted in subconscious memories. Working with a well trained psychodynamic psychotherpist can help you to uncover, dissolve, and outgrow these unwanted patterns.

Somatic Processing for Inner Child Healing and cPTSD

Survival instincts are always stuck inside of the body in cases of cPTSD, developmental trauma, and inner child fragments. This is what is actually meant by the phrase “trauma trapped inside the body” – we are talking about the intense energy of survival instincts that has been blocked by emotions, and therefore cannot be discharged from the body. We need to dissolve this energy in order to heal, and somatic processing is a brilliant way to do this if emotions are also properly addressed.

Energy Healing for Inner Child Work

Energy healing is a very helpful tool when it is well applied to inner child work. Energy healing is an excellet way to clear emotional blocks, and reset any active “fight or flight” survival instincts originating from unhealed childhood experiences, infancy, womb, or inherited from ancestors. This can greatly reduce the symptoms of anxiety, depression, addiction patterns, and unhealthy or toxic relationships.

Inner Journeying for Inner Child Work

Inner journeying is a key process for inner child work. It is through the process of inner journeying that you will discover and integrate the unhealed fragments of your inner being, awaken your natural but suppressed resources, uncover what you really want for yourself, and integrate the healing process.

With Love and Care,


To find out more or get in touch about your specific case, please write to me here.

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