I Don’t Belong(and how to heal)

It’s a difficult thing to feel out of place. The glass wall between you and everyone else can be torture when you’re on one side trying to be seen, understood, and connect. If you are extra-sensory you may struggle even more to feel your true self, and this adds to feeling different.

Many of us are taught how to live in a way that is disconnected from our natural way of being, and so disconnect from our inner guidance. As a result we feel like driftwood – out of place in the world, and out of touch with ourselves.

Why Do I feel Different?

This happens in two main ways. 1) unconscious parenting and 2) social conditioning. The result of both of these things, is that you are disconnected from the real you, and start to believe that something is wrong with you.

Unconscious parenting is when we are raised by wounded parents who do not realise they are wounded. This causes them to treat us in the same ways, and wound us in the same ways that they were wounded. The result is that our true self, our true nature, is displaced from our full awareness, and we start to feel out of place, wrong, and empty.

Social conditioning is what happens when social values neglect spiritual realities. We can see it in the education and the vocation system, where behaviour and obedience is often (not always) prioritised over creativity, contribution, and mutual growth.

This sets it up so that we become disconnected from our true nature, and inner guidance. We give up our personal authority to outside sources and learn to either rebel or reference authority externally for the truth (rather than internally for our individual truth). This causes a feeling of disconnect, “something is not right,” and generally feeling out of place in a hostile world.

The bigger picture is that we each are an individual being on our own individual path, and can’t fit into a box. The journey of healing, growing, and expanding is highly personal. Can you imagine a “one size fits all” solution for something as unique as your individual consciousness?

What to do if You Feel Different

Very often when we feel different, we are totally out of touch with who we are at the core. Get to know yourself again. Reconnect.

Inner Child Work

You might find that healing work and inner child work helps you find yourself again, and reclaim your personal power, self-appreciation, and confidence to express the natural you. Life feels better when you feel well placed and grounded. Having a painful childhood can create self-hate and self-rejection, where self-appreciation is available through healing the inner child.


Get back in touch with other ways of knowing, other than logical thought forms. Examples of this are sensing the energy around you, coming back into intuitive conversation with your heart/core being, and being open to your emotional life underneath all the thoughts. Meditation, automatic writing and journalling, energy healing, and creative expression that you enjoy help you to activate dormant aspects of your consciousness.

Heart Talk

The ancient Egyptians understood that the heart is the most important organ of the body, not the brain. The brain receives and modulates information…but that information is coming from somewhere! Starting the conversation intuitively with your heart will support you to reconnect with your authentic inner life, and help you to feel well placed again. Your heart will “tell” you (in the form of sensing, knowing, imagery, feeling) what you are meant to be doing, not anyone else (one step at a time).

Get curious about what you are curious about.

Re-establish daily routines that are aligned with what is good for you personally. You are an individual in your own right, get to know yourself. Very often when we fell different, we are totally out of touch with who we are at the core. Try the things you’ve always wanted to try, get curious about what you are curious about.

Re-establish daily routines that are aligned with what is good for you personally. You are an individual in your own right, everybody is different! Get to know yourself again, minus the wounding and the conditioning. Get conscious about what you believe makes you a good or bad person (for example needing to be productive all the time, putting everyone before yourself, following other people’s plans for you) and try something that you’ve always wanted to try.

Rachel is a psychotherapistsoul path coach, and energy healer practising in Sydney’s Northern Beaches and remotely online. Formally trained in Social Work (BSW, MSW) and Psychology (BA), Rachel integrated spiritual awareness into psychotherapy and inner work. This enables her to practice in tune to your soul and provide healing facilitation on higher levels than conventional healing modalities.

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