How to get out of a rut
Repeating the same day over and over again, without making real progress can become a rut. Same morning feeling, same afternoon grit, same night time hole. If you feel like everyday is groundhog day, and you want to get ahead or get that spark back…here are three things that you can do right now to turn things around.
1) Turn your problem into a goal
It can start to feel really defeating when you beat yourself up, repeating the same problems in your head over and over again. Even if you are analysng and looking for the way out, what you are saying to yourself really matters. For example, are you asking “why are things going wrong” “why do I feel so stuck” “Why do I always do this to myself”? These questions will never bring the solutions that move you forward. If your problem is made into a better question, you’ll instantly have more control.
If your problem is “I feel stuck” turn this into a goal – What do you want, to feel a certain way? To accomplish a certain task? Heal a relationship or resolve a conflict? Turn your problem into a goal. When “I don’t know what to do” Turns into “I am going to research my options” or when “I feel SO anxious” becomes “I am going to learn about myself”… you’ve got something to grab hold of, and really work with. Much more powerful, and relieving!
2) Deal with the barriers
In other words, every problem has a solution – but between the problem and the solution, you will find barriers. You might not have all the information you need, you might need support from another person, you could have an issue with resources and need to solve that too.
Once you identify the barriers, you can get to work dissolving them in practical ways. Take control of the issues – divide and conquer. Remember, your barriers could be INNER barriers – for example, feeling like you are not enough, self-doubt, procrastination. Many of these barriers can be resolved totally through progression life coaching.
3) Assess your Mindset
Are you in the victim -aggressor triangle? Many ruts are held in place by the roles that we play in them. Instead of being the truly powerful beings that we are, we can take on one of three roles and create all kinds of ‘rutty’ scenarioes. Are you playing the role of victim, aggressor or saviour?
If you feel in any way powerless, you could be playing either one. In the victim role, we feel like we need someone else to get us out of the problem. Support is one thing, but if you feel regularly weaker than others, you could be playing the victim and denying yourself the real satisfaction of your natural strength and creativity. Aggressor tend to be just that – aggressive. Defensive and angry feelings, blaming others and taking charge through domination are a sign of stuck being stuck in aggression.
If you feel in any way powerless, you could be playing either one. In the victim role, we feel like we need someone else to get us out of the problem. Support is one thing, but if you feel regularly weaker than others, you could be playing the victim and denying yourself the real satisfaction of your natural strength and creativity. Aggressor tend to be just that – aggressive. Defensive and angry feelings, blaming others and taking charge through domination are a sign of stuck being stuck in aggression.
Domination is not the most sustainable way to get out of a rut, it tears down your opportunities to get out and free. Saviours always have another person’s problem to solve. This becomes unhealthy when your energy is being diverted away from healing your own issues and getting yourself out of the rut. Often times, the saviour role is a defense against failing – it’s a socailly laudable distraction to keep you from your own journey. Let your efforts build you up, and then you can support others from a stable ground.